Friday, April 27, 2007
Current mood: hot
Captain Jack Sparrow!!!
Jack: Savvy?
Will: You cheated!
Jack: Pirate!
Jack: No! Not good! You've burned all the food…the shade…the rum!
Elizabeth: Yes. The rum is gone.
Jack: Why is the rum gone?
Elizabeth: One. It is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two. That signal is over a thousand feet high, the entire royal navy is looking for me; do you even think that there is the slightest chance that they will not see it?
Jack: But why is the rum gone?
Jack: She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really…except for, of course, Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.
Jack: A wedding? I love weddings. Drinks all around!
Jack: One word love: curiosity. You long for freedom. You long to do what you want to do because you want it. To act on selfish impulse. You want to see what it's like. One day, you won't be able to resist.
Jack: Do us a favor…I know it's difficult for you…but please, stay here, and try not to do anything stupid.
Jack: Stop blowing holes in my ship!
Jack: One question about your business, boy or there's no use going: This girl…how far are you willing to go to save her?
Will: I'd die for her.
Jack: Oh good. No worries then.
Jack: If you were waiting for an opportune moment, that was it.
Jack: I've got a jar of dirt!
Jack: Me? I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you need to watch out for because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly stupid.
Commodore: You are without a doubt the worst pirate I have ever heard of.
Jack: But you have heard of me.
Davy Jones: I wonder Sparrow, can you live with this? Can you condemn an innocent man – a friend – to a lifetime of servitude in your name while you roam free?
Jack: …Yep! I'm good with it. Shall we seal it in blood? I mean, er…ink?
Jack: Look! An undead monkey!
Jack: Is this a dream?
Bootstrap: No
Jack: Thought not. If it were, there'd be rum.
Elizabeth: I'm here to find the man I love!
Jack: I'm deeply flattered, lad, but my first and only love is the sea.
Gibbs: It's a key!
Jack: No! Much more better! It is a drawing of a key.
Will: This key is going to help save Elizabeth?
Jack: How much do you know about Davy Jones?
Will: Not much.
Jack: Yeah, it's gonna save her.
Jack: Guard the boat…mind the tide…and don't touch my jar of dirt.
Jack: My incredibly intuitive sense of the female mind tells me that you are troubled.
Commodore: My God. You were actually telling the truth.
Jack: I do that quite a lot. And yet people are always surprised.
Navy guy: (Jack rips off Elizabeth's corset) I never would've thought of that.
Jack: Clearly you've never been to Singapore.
Jack: Where's that monkey? I feel like shooting something.
Elizabeth: There will come a time when you'll have the chance to do something courageous, to do the right thing.
Jack: I love those moments…I like to wave at them as they pass by.
Jack: Those clothes are not flattering on you. It should be a dress or nothing. I happen to have no dress in my cabin.
Jack: Where's it gone? Where's the thump-thump?
Jack: You smell funny.
Jack: Oh bugger.
Jack: You cannot let him near the chest, man, trust me on this. You can either mistrust me or you can mistrust him. Trust me.
Jack: So what's your plan?
Will: I go aboard and search the boat for your bloody key.
Jack: And if there are any crew men?
Will: I cut them down.
Jack: I like it. Simple, and easy to remember.
Jack: When you marooned me on that god forsaken spit of land, you forgot one very important thing, mate: I'm Captain Jack Sparrow.
Jack: Parleley, parlelellylelooooo, par le nee, partner, par…snip, parsley…
Ragetti: Parlay?
Jack: That's the one! Parlay! Parlay.
Pintel: Parlay? Damn to the depths whatever man what thought of parlay.
Jack: That would be the French.
Jack: If we don't have the key, we can't open whatever it is that we don't have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don't have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?
Jack: There'll be no knowing here, we've come for help and we won't leave without it. (aside to Tia Dalma) I thought I knew you.
Will: You ignored the rules of combat. In a fair fight, I would've beaten you.
Jack: Well, that's not much incentive for me to fight fair, is it?
Jack: I think we've all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically. [to Norrington] I want you to know that I was rooting for you, mate. Elizabeth, it would never have worked out between us darling. I'm sorry. Will…nice hat. Friends…this is the day that you will ALWAYS remember as the day that you….[falls]
Jack: Sorry, it's just such a pretty boat…SHIP!
(in the blooper reel)
Pintel: Damn to the depths of hell whoever came up with parlay.
Jack (Depp, really): That would be the French. A derivative of Latin; also came up with mayonnaise.
Gibbs: Curse you for breathin' ya slack-jawed idiot. Mother's love. Jack. You should know better than to wake a man when he's sleepin. It's bad luck.
Jack: Fortunately, I know how to counter it; the man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink. The man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition from the man who did the waking.
Jack: Hello beastie.
Jack: You need to find yourself a girl, mate. Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you already found one, and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch are you?
Will: We're going to steal a ship? That ship?
Jack: Commandeer. We're going to commandeer that ship. Nautical term.
Jack: No. You want to find this. Because the finding of this finds you incapacitorially finding and or locating in your discovering a detecting of a way to save your dotty belle, ole miss whas her face. Savvy?
Jack: You can keep doing that forever, the dog is NEVER going to move.
Jack: Captain Jack Sparrow, if you please sir.
Commodore: I don't see your ship, Captain.
Jack: I'm in the market, as it were.
Jack: Mr. Gibbs…I feel sullied and unusual.
Jack: Oi! Fishface! Lose something? Eh? Scungili! Got it! Come to negotiate eh? Have you, you slimy git? Look what I've got! I've got a jar of dirt, I've got a jar of dirt! And guess what's inside it!
Jack: And any idea when Jones will release said terrible beastie?
Jack: Commodore, my effects…and my hat!
Will: Jack?! I can honestly say I'm glad to see you. Tell them to let me go.
Jack: Ko lo lam. Lam peeky peeky. Lam eensy weensy. Lam say say eunichy…snip snip.
Barbossa: Let me get this straight. You plan to leave me on some beach with not but a name and watch you sail away on my ship?
Jack: No! I plan to leave you on some beach without a name at all watching me sail away in MY ship and I'll shout the name back to you. Savvy?
Jack: [to Barbossa] I'll buy you a hat! A really big one!
Elizabeth: Why doesn't your compass work?
Jack: ……my compass works just fine!
Jack: [to Elizabeth] You know, we're alike, you and I. I and you. Us…
Jack: Let us set sail…in ahh…generallll…THAT way, direction.
Jack: Borrowed…borrowed without permission, but with ever intention of bringing it back.
Jack: You seem familiar…have I threatened you before?
Norrington: Do excuse me while I kill the man who ruined my life.
Will: Be my guest.
Jack: Let us examine that claim for a moment, former Commodore, shall we? Who was it at the very moment you had a notorious pirate safely behind bars, saw fit to free said pirate and take your dearly beloved all to hisself, eh? So whose fault is it REALLY that you've ended up a rumpot deckhand what takes orders from pirates?
Norrington: ENOUGH! [Jack somersaults off roof] Unfortunately, Mr. Turner, he's right!
Barbossa: Why, thank ye, Jack.
Jack: You're welcome.
Barbossa: Oh, not you. We named the monkey Jack.
Murtogg: This dock is off-limits to civilians.
Jack: I'm terribly sorry, I didn't know. If I see one, I shall inform you immediately. Apparently there's some sort of high-toned and fancy to-do up at the fort, eh? How could it be that two upstanding gentlemen, such as yourselves, did not merit an invitation?
Murtogg: Someone's got to make sure that this dock stays off-limits to civilians.
Jack: It's a fine goal, to be sure. But it seems to me…that a ship like that one, makes this one here seem a bit superfluous, really.
Murtogg: Oh, the Dauntless is the power in these waters, true enough. But there's no ship as can match the Interceptor for speed.
JACK: I've heard of one, supposed to be very fast, nigh, uncatchable: The Black Pearl.
Murtogg: Well, there's no real ship as can match the Interceptor.
Mullroy: The Black Pearl is a real ship.
Murtogg: No it isn't.
Mullroy: Yes it is, I've seen it.
Murtogg: You've seen it?
Mullroy: Yes.
Murtogg: You haven't seen it.
Mullroy: Yes I have.
Murtogg: You've seen a ship with black sails that's crewed by the damned, and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out?
Mullroy: No.
Murtogg: No.
Mullroy: But I have seen a ship with black sails. [Jack slips past them]
Murtogg: Oh, and no ship that's not crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out could possibly have black sails, therefore couldn't possibly be any other ship than the Black Pearl. Is that what you're telling me?
Mullroy: No.
Murtogg: Like I said, there's no real ship as can match the Interceptor. Hey you! Get away from there. You don't have permission to aboard there, mate.
Jack: I'm sorry. It's just…it's such a pretty boat…SHIP!
Murtogg: What's your purpose in Port Royal, Mr. Smith?
Mullroy: Yeah, and no lies.
Jack: Well, then, I confess. It is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder, and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out.
Mullroy: I said no lies.
Murtogg: I think he's telling the truth.
Mullroy: If he were telling the truth, he wouldn't have told us.
Jack: Unless, of course, he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told you.
Jack: OH, NO, NO, OY, NO, NO, MORE WOOD! BIG FIRE! BIG FIRE! I AM CHIEF, WANT BIG FIRE! COME ON NOW! OY! MA-BOOGEY SNICKLE SNICKLE! TOOT SUIT! COME ON, MORE WOOD!
Jack: He's no one. Distant cousin of my aunt's twice removed. Lovely singing voice though. Eunuch.
Jack: There'll be no living with her after this.
Jack: It's 'Captain'… 'Captain Jack Sparrow!'
Jack: That's what a ship is, you know. It's not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails. That's what a ship needs. But what a ship is, what the Black Pearl really is, is freedom.
Jack: Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate.
Jack: The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do. For instance, you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man or you can't. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so you'll have to square with that someday. And me, for example, I can let you drown, but I can't bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy? So, can you sail under the command of a pirate, or can you not?
Jack: Welcome to the Caribbean, love.
Jack: Son, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. Savvy?
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