6-28-07

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Current mood: pensive

Today (well tonight really) I went out on the beach for a walk. After I'd walked to the pier and back, I stopped out in front of the house to continue thinking. The beach really seems to open up my mind for some reason.

Anyway, some things I got to thinking about: For one thing, even though I passed like five thousand different houses and about a million different people, one thing that stayed the same was the moon and the ocean and the sand beneath my feet. How sweet is it that the non-man made things (aka the things God gave us) are the constant things in our lives.

Another thing I thought a lot about was love. Even though I've never actually been IN love, it's still something I think about from time to time. Many of the people I passed tonight were holding hands or linking arms with their loved ones. It makes me wonder what falling in love is really like. Who will I fall in love with? Will it be forever or a first love? Is a first love even really love? And that mkaes me think about what if I'm not even here to experience a first true love? I'm not guaranteed tomorrow, as I've so cruelly learned recently. And then that made me wonder about my life so far. Instead of asking the question asked in "It's A Wonderful Life," I chose to ask myself if I've made a difference in someone's life (rather than: would it matter if I never existed?) I've read about the whole "stories linked" thing (The Five People You Meet In Heaven is a great example of this - I definately recommend it, by the way) and it makes me wonder if I've really made a significant difference in another person's life.

But then I start thinking about the love thing again. I've seen love - I've seen a mother's and a father's and a sister's love; I"ve seen a friend's love; I've seen a godly love. Is that all that really matters? Do I really even need to see a relationship-type love when I've seen these other great types of love?

And then I ask myself what love is really? Can there even really be a definition for it? I racked my breains for just a tiny anything thatmight in some way put love into words. At first the phrase "Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at at all" pops into my head, but I don't really have a view on that as I've never experienced that kind of love. Then another saying comes to my mind: The greatest things in life cannot be seen or heard but must be felt with the heart. Surely love is included in this. Love is a powerful thing. Look at Romeo and Juliet; look at Cory and Topanga; look at some of the greatest love stories of all time; and finally, look at Jesus - the ultimatum of love. I can only hope that one day I will be able to find that one love of mine and that maybe I will be able to make a difference in someone's life.

Peace,
Kathryne