a tribute

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Current mood: pessimistic

This is my tribute to the nice girls that have gone through this stuff too. To the nice girls who are overlooKed, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looK and personalities and their actions because it must be that they are doing something wrong. This is for the girls who don't give it up on the first date, who don't want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they've heard a thousand times. This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and that the guys they're interested in aren't either. For the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to Keep alive that hope that maybe. . .maybe this time he'll have understood. This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the right words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds." This is to honor those girls who Know that guys are just as scared as they are, who Know that they deserve better, who are seeKing to find it. This is for the girls who have never been in love, but Know that it's an experience that they don't want to miss out on. This is for the girls who have spent their weeKends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting guy friend or a comatose crush, who have received a drunK phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn't care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed. This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to maKe someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, sho have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl in a sKirt. This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaKing off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend. Theis one's for the girls who have been led on by words and Kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looKing to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too high and mighty to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talKing a little too softly to the girl in the corner, and you're wishing withe everything in youit could be you instead of her. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship: it was that he didn't want you. I honor you for the night his dog dies or his grandmother dies or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinKing that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his bacK in the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep. This is for the "I really liKe you, so let's still be friends" comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which maKe you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you've received from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermat of your tears, Knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a pillow and your teddy bear. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nigths we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted.